How to support your child throughout their college experience: Tips for parents

by Amanda Padden


The Signs of Suicide Prevention Program is a program the guidance department presents to all students at MHS (see Stephanie Worthley’s blog post called Youth Suicide Prevention). I was reading through some of the resources the program provides and came across one called, “What can parents do to best support a child’s college experience?” The document outlines how parents can identify distress in their child and better understand how to help them when they no longer live at home. Symptoms of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal thinking are discussed, but what I thought was interesting and worth sharing is the information it provides about how to strengthen communication between parents and their college age children around mental health. Below are some helpful suggestions for parents:

• Be honest about mental health in your own life or the lives of family and friends. Discuss the value of psychological help. Talking about mental health can help to normalize it. 
• Be an active listener- don’t finish your child’s thoughts or interrupt with a quick solution when they have a problem. Let them consider the options and help them to make a pros and cons list for each. 
• Talk, don’t criticize- communicate your views in non-critical ways, avoiding words like must or ought. I think this is especially important when talking about drugs/alcohol, friend groups, etc. 
• Let your child know they don’t have to protect you from their problems. 
• Know the resources available at the college- make sure your child knows where the counseling center is. If your child is currently experiencing mental health problems, contact the counseling center in advance and schedule an appointment for the beginning of the school year. 
• If your child contacts you in distress, try to be calm in the moment and tell them that they did the right thing by sharing the problem with you. If you are far away, think about someone local you can contact- the counseling center, the resident advisor, the dean, a local hospital, the campus police, etc. 

College can be a very exciting and joyful time for students and their families. However, it’s also a time of transition and uncertainty. Having an open and honest conversation about mental health (or substance abuse, consent, stress, etc.) before your child leaves for school will make it easier for your child to come to you if one of those problems arises.

For more information about supporting your child in their college experience, please visit this site: https://mentalhealthscreening.org/blog/category/college

Graduation Walk

by Stephanie Worthley

Last spring, I saw this story online about a high school in Texas starting a new tradition, The Senior Walk. The purpose at this event at Van High School in Texas was to inspire younger students to aim for college after graduation. The 150 seniors at Van High School walked through the halls in their caps and gowns as elementary and middle school students cheered them on. When I saw this I thought, “We HAVE to do this in Medfield.”

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/texas-high-school-seniors-senior-walk-inspire-younger/story?id=38934768

So today, Thursday, June 1st, was the first Graduation Walk through the Medfield Public Schools. The 218 graduating seniors walked the halls of Blake Middle School, Wheelock, Memorial, and the Dale St. School. Students and teachers lined the hallways and cheered for our seniors as they walked with pride through the halls. Students made signs of congratulations and gave high-fives to the seniors as they walked by. Teachers had class photos from elementary years and gave a lot of hugs to these young adults who were once small children in their classes. A student found his hand prints up in the Dale St cafeteria from 2004! And one student commented that it must be grilled cheese day at Memorial!

Thanks, Class of 2017, for taking this walk down memory lane today. You have made quite an impression on the younger students in the district, and your teachers couldn’t be prouder! Congratulations Class of 2017!

Check out a brief video slideshow of the Graduation Walk here:

Fidget Spinners - Better than Flipping Water Bottles But...

by Tracy Allen

You can't walk down a middle school hallway these days without seeing a student with a spinning fidget spinner in his or her hand. Along with it's colleague homemade slime, fidget spinners have become the rage to find, trade and share between classmates. Originally deemed as worthy tactile toys to help maintain the focus of students primarily with ADHD, fidget toys are supposed to provide the constant movement needed in order for fixed focus on lessons and classwork (though there are mixed feelings about the effectiveness of these toys). Why then would such a tool be making news headlines? Simply put, sales are high, and with a growing negative response from teachers, the debate over spinners is on.

Spinners are being marketed as beneficial to the learning of the nation's large number of students diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. Spinners, according to the students, are also fun and provide seemingly quiet ways for students to play during class. All students learn differently. Some need the additional stimulation of the spinning toy but most do not. Students are becoming lost in the competition of finding the newest and coolest spinner or the smallest and thus less likely to get caught by the teacher spinner instead of the having it for its intended purpose. It was a quiet small strategy and now it's a loud buzzing badge of honor. Teachers recognize that a sensory diet is one way to even the playing field in the classroom, but right now it's the teachers' heads that are spinning from trying to keep a room full of students on task. I would encourage families to have a discussion on the necessity and use of a spinner in school. However, don't be surprised if your student starts entering toy-free learning zones.

http://www.npr.org/2017/05/14/527988954/whirring-purring-fidget-spinners-provide-entertainment-not-adhd-help

http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/05/health/fidget-spinners-what-is-trnd/index.html?utm_source=CNN+Five+Things&utm_campaign=c3d124b0f7-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_05_08&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6da287d761-c3d124b0f7-81647045

Juniors Attend the National College Fair

By Kathy Mahoney

On Monday, May 8th, 116 juniors loaded buses and traveled to Boston to attend NACAC’s National College Fair at the Boston Convention Center. Over 400 colleges and universities were represented as students perused the aisles, making connections with admissions counselors and gathering information about potential future plans. Students returned to Medfield having gained more insight into the direction they might choose after graduation (which is only a year away)!

The college fair is the culminating junior event of our Junior Future Planning curriculum. The guidance office encourages all families to meet with their counselor individually to discuss future planning, including things to tackle over the summer, and what to expect come the fall of senior year. Below is a list of suggested activities for the summer to start senior year ahead of the curve.

Summer To Do List:

• Complete Counselor Recommendation Form on Naviance.
• Create Common Application account: www.commonapp.org
• Register/take standardized tests: www.collegeboard.org and www.actstudent.org
• Work on college essays. Common App essay topics available now.
• Finalize college list and update in Naviance
• Visit schools

Firsthand Experience

by Amanda Padden

Over the last two weeks the guidance department brought in eleven different professionals to talk with sophomores about their current job and the path they took to get there. Sophomores had the opportunity to hear from the following professionals:

• ESPN Talent Producer
• Pediatric Nurse
• Teacher
• Sports Announcer
• Photographer 
• Lawyer
• Psychologist
• Military Recruiter
• Marketing Manager
• Operations Manager with an MBA
• Engineer

The professionals discussed how there are many different types of jobs within any specific field. For example, the marketing manager discussed how there are people on her team responsible for writing content for websites or brochures, while others are “idea people” who come up with what they want to communicate to an audience, while others are graphic designers, and others are responsible for analyzing and determining whether or not certain marketing materials increased business as a result. All of these jobs are very different, but all are considered marketing. Our department works with many students who are interested in majoring in Business, Engineering or Nursing, but oftentimes students don’t know what specific jobs are available within those fields and what the day to day requirements are. After listening to these presenters, students had a better idea of what to expect for salary, hours, and what strengths and skills needed in order to be successful in different careers.

It was interesting to see that many of the career speakers didn’t end up with the job they planned to have when they were in high school. In fact, many of them experienced a major career shift along the way. I think this helped our students understand that it’s okay to change their mind about their career. You can to go back to law school in your 40's. You can plan to be a high school gym teacher, but end up as a psychologist after randomly taking an Abnormal Psychology course in college. You can be a behavior therapist for children with disabilities then end up working in sales. These professionals taught students to pay attention to what they like or don't like and to be open to trying new things.

Our department collected feedback directly from the students who attended these sessions. Here are some of their responses:

“It is good to have contacts, and take a leap of faith with contacting others and applying for different jobs”

“That it is ok to not have a plan for what you want to do right away and if you come across an open opportunity, take it because you might end up liking it”

“It gave me an idea of when I need to start and what I need to think about when it comes to college and my career”

“I loved to hear the hours and the classes I will take and have in the future”

“I have always thought about a field in Psychology and this definitely helped me gain a better perspective and opened me up the the different fields, what you may have to study, and how challenging and dedicated the years in school are”

“I learned about one of my career options. It was very helpful to hear from someone with firsthand experience”

These career sessions seemed to shift the focus from “getting into college” to thinking about a career and lifestyle that might be a good fit. The guidance department looks forward to offering more opportunities like this in the future to all grades at MHS.

13 Reasons Why

by Anne Lodge

Have you heard of the new Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why? If you haven’t yet heard of it, it’s important to be aware of this trending show and the important conversations that can and should stem from viewing it. The fictional series is based on a novel, also titled 13 Reasons Why, and it profiles the character of Hannah Baker, a 17-year old who commits suicide and leaves behind tapes for 13 people who she says played a role in why she killed herself.

The series has created quite a buzz about suicide and the multiple difficult topics that the show addresses throughout the episodes, including bullying, rape, drunk driving, and slut shaming. Many teenagers are binge watching 13 Reasons Why with little or no adult guidance. When topics as huge and as serious as those in the show are covered, it’s important for adults to be aware of what their children are viewing and talking about. I would highly recommend engaging in conversations with your teen about the show and taking some time to view it yourself, especially if your child has watched or plans to watch the series.

The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) offers up some talking points to guide a conversation:
      1. Ask your child if they have heard or seen the series 13 Reasons Why. While we don’t recommend that they be encouraged to view the series, do tell them you want to watch it, with them or to catch up, and discuss their thoughts.
      2. If they exhibit any of the warning signs [making indirect or direct suicide threats; giving away prized possessions; changes in behavior, appearance/hygiene, thoughts, and/or feelings; emotional distress; preoccupation with death], don’t be afraid to ask if they have thought about suicide or if someone is hurting them. Raising the issue of suicide does not increase the risk or plant the idea. On the contrary, it creates the opportunity to offer help.
      3. Ask your child if they think any of their friends or classmates exhibit warning signs. Talk with them about how to seek help for their friend or classmate. Guide them on how to respond when they see or hear any of the warning signs.
      4. Listen to your children’s comments without judgment. Doing so requires that you fully concentrate, understand, respond, and then remember what is being said. Put your own agenda aside.
      5. Get help from a school-employed or community-based mental health professional if you are concerned for your child’s safety or the safety of one of their peers.

Additionally, they offer some words of caution about the show. The series is intense and teenagers may easily identify with some of what the characters experience in the episodes. It is not recommended that anyone who is vulnerable to suicide watch the show.

Ultimately, the most important take-away from watching 13 Reasons Why and engaging in dialogue about the series should be that suicide is not a solution to problems and that help is available to anyone who may be struggling. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, talk to a trusted adult, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or text “START” to 741741.

If you have any concerns about your child or would like additional support in conversing about these topics, please contact your child’s guidance counselor.